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  <title>No there ain&apos;t no rest for the wicked</title>
  <link>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/</link>
  <description>No there ain&apos;t no rest for the wicked - Dreamwidth Studios</description>
  <lastBuildDate>Sun, 28 Jul 2013 22:46:02 GMT</lastBuildDate>
  <generator>LiveJournal / Dreamwidth Studios</generator>
  <lj:journal>fuckingvisions</lj:journal>
  <lj:journaltype>personal</lj:journaltype>
  <image>
    <url>https://v2.dreamwidth.org/5006826/1693876</url>
    <title>No there ain&apos;t no rest for the wicked</title>
    <link>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/</link>
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  <guid isPermaLink='true'>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/17401.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Sun, 28 Jul 2013 22:46:02 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Three notes, left on doors.</title>
  <link>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/17401.html</link>
  <description>&lt;tt&gt;&lt;big&gt;Deano-&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I wasn&apos;t ready to come back, I rushed back and now I see that was a stupid mistake. I wont be any help to anyone if I&apos;m not ready. I&apos;m heading back home again for a bit, please don&apos;t think I&apos;m just bowing out for good. I&apos;ll be back, if you ever want to drop in, I&apos;ll likely be back in Dublin back don&apos;t hesitate if you leave there before I come back.&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/tt&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;-&lt;i&gt;Francis&lt;/i&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;small&gt;[ He left with Dean&apos;s letter is a box, with the &lt;a href=&quot;http://slayerevival.com/photos/albums/Angel/promo/Cast/normal_111.jpg&quot;&gt;framed&lt;/a&gt; picture he carried around. And a Die cast build it yourself Chevy Imapala toy. Paint included.]&lt;/small&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;tt&gt;&lt;big&gt;Cassel-&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;You&apos;re gonna be pissed, I should have done this in person but that&apos;s admitting I&apos;m a coward to your face. I&apos;m bailing out for awhile. I intend to come back, I do. However I&apos;m just not ready to be responsible for someone else yet. I&apos;m heading home to try and finish getting my shit together. If you graduate you should stop in and see me, otherwise I&apos;ll see you when I get back.&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/tt&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;-&lt;i&gt;Doyle&lt;/i&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;tt&gt;&lt;big&gt;Aya-&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I already miss you, so it feels strange saying I&apos;ll miss you but I will. I&apos;m not sure in your current state you will even care but I&apos;m going back home. I&apos;m just not ready to be responsible for someone else yet. I&apos;ll be back sometime, I hope to see you again. If not, I&apos;ll miss you. And never let anyone think your not worth something. Razers not worth what you&apos;ve become. Fuck that guy, he&apos;s a piece of shit for hurting you. You deserve better.&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/tt&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;-&lt;i&gt;Doyle&lt;/i&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;[ooc; the notes can be found once the port is over. Doyle&apos;s stayed out of sight durring the port and dipped out just before everyone could return. See you guys in a few months.]&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=fuckingvisions&amp;ditemid=17401&quot; width=&quot;30&quot; height=&quot;12&quot; alt=&quot;comment count unavailable&quot; style=&quot;vertical-align: middle;&quot;/&gt; comments</description>
  <comments>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/17401.html</comments>
  <category>doyle&apos;s bowing out</category>
  <category>!the end</category>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/17135.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Wed, 17 Jul 2013 14:29:45 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Video</title>
  <link>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/17135.html</link>
  <description>&lt;small&gt;[ The video feed kicks on to not ONLY his hair cut straight evenly but he &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.polyvore.com/doyles_return_psl_worthy/set?id=84966338&quot;&gt;matched&lt;/a&gt; for once and not in disco clothes. He had just returned from his visit from a certain princess who wasn&apos;t letting him return with the shaggy hobo look he had come to her with.]&lt;/small&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Well, I certainly didn&apos;t miss this place. But I be a man o&apos; me word when it counts and it counts. I brought a lot o&apos; you guys stuff back so maybe pop around if you want it.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Can anyone tell me if Kon an&apos; Cass are up yet? They were both still out when I left an&apos; I wanna be sure their okay.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Iris, I gotta apologize for headin&apos; off before we could go to woodstock. I had a bit on me mind I had to get straightened. However if that offers still open, anytime would be awesome.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Now for the important bit, who missed me?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=fuckingvisions&amp;ditemid=17135&quot; width=&quot;30&quot; height=&quot;12&quot; alt=&quot;comment count unavailable&quot; style=&quot;vertical-align: middle;&quot;/&gt; comments</description>
  <comments>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/17135.html</comments>
  <category>comas are not cool</category>
  <category>iris is awesome</category>
  <category>cass is a cool guy</category>
  <category>guess whose a warden now</category>
  <category>coming back</category>
  <category>kon&apos;s a good kid</category>
  <lj:music>Thin Lizzy - The Boys Are Back In Town</lj:music>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>24</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/16707.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Fri, 05 Jul 2013 22:25:47 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Video</title>
  <link>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/16707.html</link>
  <description>&lt;small&gt;[ Doyle looks confused, he&apos;s holding a cigarette in his hand his eyes shifting from one side to the other, his pupils finally back to normal size.]&lt;/small&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;My pathetic excuse for a kitchen and bathroom are back... &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;small&gt;[ He&apos;s not sure how he feels about that, granted he&apos;s sure he should be happy he&apos;s almost certain that he knows what it means but he could also see the Admiral being a dick.]&lt;/small&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Steph? Am I still registerin&apos; to you?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;b&gt;[ An hour later.]&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Guys, I just gradutaed. &lt;small&gt;[ He&apos;s grinning finally.]&lt;/small&gt; Well only one thing to do with this.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;small&gt;[ He reaches behind him and turns on the crystal Iris gave him as a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FdizL4on-Rc&quot;&gt;LL Cool J song&lt;/a&gt; started play.]&lt;/small&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Looks like I&apos;m goin&apos; home.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=fuckingvisions&amp;ditemid=16707&quot; width=&quot;30&quot; height=&quot;12&quot; alt=&quot;comment count unavailable&quot; style=&quot;vertical-align: middle;&quot;/&gt; comments</description>
  <comments>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/16707.html</comments>
  <category>going back to cali</category>
  <category>graduation</category>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>65</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/16530.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Fri, 28 Jun 2013 23:11:21 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Dream/Spam/Audio</title>
  <link>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/16530.html</link>
  <description>&lt;span class=&quot;cut-wrapper&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;display: none;&quot; id=&quot;span-cuttag___1&quot; class=&quot;cuttag&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;b class=&quot;cut-open&quot;&gt;(&amp;nbsp;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;b class=&quot;cut-text&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/16530.html#cutid1&quot;&gt;Some helpless fool yeah I was lost in a swoon of peace&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;b class=&quot;cut-close&quot;&gt;&amp;nbsp;)&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;display: none;&quot; id=&quot;div-cuttag___1&quot; aria-live=&quot;assertive&quot;&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;cut-wrapper&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;display: none;&quot; id=&quot;span-cuttag___2&quot; class=&quot;cuttag&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;b class=&quot;cut-open&quot;&gt;(&amp;nbsp;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;b class=&quot;cut-text&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/16530.html#cutid2&quot;&gt;Infirmary spam&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;b class=&quot;cut-close&quot;&gt;&amp;nbsp;)&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;display: none;&quot; id=&quot;div-cuttag___2&quot; aria-live=&quot;assertive&quot;&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;b&gt;[ Audio, around 9pm.]&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Well that was an unexpected nap. Hope no one let the place burn down while I was catchin&apos; up on some much needed sleep.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I hope someone doesn&apos;t mind bringin&apos; me some clothes o&apos; the none bloody verity, and a pair of shades. Don&apos;t ask I just need them. I should likely be askin&apos; lot&apos;s o&apos; questions but I know you lot are gonna fill me in either way. So how about the important one. Who missed me? &lt;small&gt;[ He had the communicator sittng on the table]&lt;/small&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I need to talk to Aya and Dean both, this is me lettin&apos; you know, so when the time&apos;s okay mind poppin&apos; over. I&apos;m gonna be stuck here for a little longer, least till I make me grand escape. &lt;small&gt;[ Was he kidding? Yeah, for once he was, brain damage that nearly killed him. Yeah he&apos;s staying right where he is until someone says he&apos;s good to go.]&lt;/small&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=fuckingvisions&amp;ditemid=16530&quot; width=&quot;30&quot; height=&quot;12&quot; alt=&quot;comment count unavailable&quot; style=&quot;vertical-align: middle;&quot;/&gt; comments</description>
  <comments>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/16530.html</comments>
  <category>taking things serious</category>
  <category>can has whiskey plz?</category>
  <category>comas are not cool</category>
  <category>deans my bff</category>
  <category>near death experience</category>
  <category>aya can stay my sister</category>
  <category>clean clothes would be nice</category>
  <category>steph is too good</category>
  <lj:music>Live - Dolphin&apos;s Cry</lj:music>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>90</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/16318.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Fri, 21 Jun 2013 17:17:13 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Video + Spam</title>
  <link>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/16318.html</link>
  <description>&lt;b&gt;[ Video ]&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Say what you will this is the BEST thing ever! It&apos;s about time Admiral! Props where they are due man!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;small&gt;[ The smile on his face and chipper tone, he&apos;s happy as can be with his power switch. Which was nothing. He was a run of the mill human and happy as can be about it.]&lt;/small&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Sorry to whoever got that burden. Really, don&apos;t worry just concentrtae and you can keep it hidden. That&apos;s all I got for you, now it&apos;s to to go get a celebatory smoke for me. &lt;small&gt;[ He gives a mock salute and shuts off the feed,]&lt;/small&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;cut-wrapper&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;display: none;&quot; id=&quot;span-cuttag___1&quot; class=&quot;cuttag&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;b class=&quot;cut-open&quot;&gt;(&amp;nbsp;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;b class=&quot;cut-text&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/16318.html#cutid1&quot;&gt;Cut for blood and violent imagery. Doyle has a vision and shall be in a coma for a week.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;b class=&quot;cut-close&quot;&gt;&amp;nbsp;)&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;display: none;&quot; id=&quot;div-cuttag___1&quot; aria-live=&quot;assertive&quot;&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;small&gt;[ooc; Doyle video is broadcasted about ten minutes before the vision hits. He wont be answering most of the responces due to the fact he&apos;s going to be coma&apos;d for a week.]&lt;/small&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=fuckingvisions&amp;ditemid=16318&quot; width=&quot;30&quot; height=&quot;12&quot; alt=&quot;comment count unavailable&quot; style=&quot;vertical-align: middle;&quot;/&gt; comments</description>
  <comments>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/16318.html</comments>
  <category>fuck yeah depowerment</category>
  <category>vision fucked up</category>
  <category>oh shit no demonic healing</category>
  <category>being human rocks</category>
  <lj:music>If I close my eyes forever - Lita Ford Feat Ozzy Osbourne</lj:music>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>25</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/16005.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Tue, 18 Jun 2013 03:14:31 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Backdated Audio][ Locked to Ben</title>
  <link>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/16005.html</link>
  <description>Get up Benny. &lt;small&gt;[ Doyle sounds like utter shit, welcome to post vision voice. It may have been too late in the visions but dammit maybe this time something could be done.]&lt;/small&gt; It&apos;s time to get to work boyo, you with me? I got a job for you.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Get up solider and answer me.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=fuckingvisions&amp;ditemid=16005&quot; width=&quot;30&quot; height=&quot;12&quot; alt=&quot;comment count unavailable&quot; style=&quot;vertical-align: middle;&quot;/&gt; comments</description>
  <comments>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/16005.html</comments>
  <category>visions haunt long after the fact</category>
  <category>fuck fate</category>
  <category>vision fucked up</category>
  <category>headaches</category>
  <category>ben isnt a bad guy</category>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>3</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/15763.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Tue, 11 Jun 2013 02:58:43 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Open Spam</title>
  <link>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/15763.html</link>
  <description>&lt;small&gt;[ And running down a hallway with a certain brown disco jacket which was way too big for him around him was a seven year old Allen Francis Doyle. His hair short and choppy much like his adult form, but it was lighter, closer to brown then the black he grew into. His blue eyes wide and excited and his forehead lacking a certain scar as he gained that closer to nine.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;He&apos;s not usually allowed to be alone much less in such a huge place. Instead of looking for his mom he decided to explore. The coat was around him like a cape. He totally thought he was the COOLEST thing on the strange ship.]&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;[ Replies will come from &lt;span style=&apos;white-space: nowrap;&apos;&gt;&lt;a href=&apos;https://littlevisions.dreamwidth.org/profile&apos;&gt;&lt;img src=&apos;https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png&apos; alt=&apos;[personal profile] &apos; width=&apos;17&apos; height=&apos;17&apos; style=&apos;vertical-align: text-bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;&apos; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;a href=&apos;https://littlevisions.dreamwidth.org/&apos;&gt;&lt;b&gt;littlevisions&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt; ]&lt;/small&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=fuckingvisions&amp;ditemid=15763&quot; width=&quot;30&quot; height=&quot;12&quot; alt=&quot;comment count unavailable&quot; style=&quot;vertical-align: middle;&quot;/&gt; comments</description>
  <comments>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/15763.html</comments>
  <category>baby doyle</category>
  <category>!lastvoyages</category>
  <category>tiny adventures</category>
  <lj:music>Chris Cagle &quot;Chicks Dig It&quot;</lj:music>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>47</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/15442.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Fri, 07 Jun 2013 21:00:38 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Video</title>
  <link>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/15442.html</link>
  <description>&lt;small&gt;[ Doyle had been silently listening to others talk to their loved one. After the last time this rodeo hit he was a bit worried to even reach out. He had sat for hours just staring at his walls trying to will himself to do something, to say something. Anything. Maybe Harry would be waiting like last time. Maybe he could talk to Angel.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Maybe she wasn&apos;t really dead. He sighed switching on the feed.]&lt;/small&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Hey. Its a long shot in the dark. &lt;small&gt;[ He spoke in a bit of sad brogue, it kind of matched his features. He had gotten to where he could fake smile for everyone else but in the privacy of his own room he didn&apos;t have to be happy. Silent Hill really did a number on him.]&lt;/small&gt; &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;This is Doyle, and I know it&apos;s a common enough name. However if you know me you&apos;d know me voice more then anything else. If anyone&apos;s there let me know.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=fuckingvisions&amp;ditemid=15442&quot; width=&quot;30&quot; height=&quot;12&quot; alt=&quot;comment count unavailable&quot; style=&quot;vertical-align: middle;&quot;/&gt; comments</description>
  <comments>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/15442.html</comments>
  <category>needs help wont ask</category>
  <category>cordelia</category>
  <category>!lastvoyages</category>
  <category>4th wall day</category>
  <category>angel was good people</category>
  <lj:music>Kenny Wayne Shepherd Band - Blue On Black</lj:music>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>110</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/15332.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Wed, 05 Jun 2013 14:37:27 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>I feel the dream in me expire.</title>
  <link>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/15332.html</link>
  <description>&lt;b&gt;[ Open Video ]&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;small&gt;[ The video opens to Doyle sitting in the recliner in his room, the overhead lights off but the lamp near by casts shadows over his face otherwise it&apos;s pretty dark in there. He is quiet the first full moment it&apos;s on.]&lt;/small&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I&apos;m still kickin&apos; here. Just lettin&apos; the general population know.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Also, I&apos;m sorry for snappin&apos; at you Aya, and you too Cass. &lt;small&gt;[ He means Cassel but hey, whichever Cass wants to answer.]&lt;/small&gt; Thanks for puttin&apos; up with my moody self. Things are gonna be better from here on out.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;A few wise words for this still hurt by the last hell we just past. It&apos;s always darkest before dawn. Just keep lookin&apos; for that light on the horizon.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;b&gt;[ Video filtered to Charles Xavier and Mark Lily ]&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Hey Charles, it&apos;s me again. &lt;small&gt;[ He feels like a burden asking others for things sometimes, this was one of this times.]&lt;/small&gt; And hello to you Mr. Lily, I know we have not been acquainted yet but I&apos;ve seen your offer you I included you in this.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;My warden Stephanie Brown has mentioned more then once that she think&apos;s I need to look into legitimate therapy over some of the things I&apos;ve dealt with. I am far from the most open person but after days of thought on the matter since Silent Hill I&apos;ve decided that if either of you has the time. And only if you have the time and it&apos;s not an inconvenience for you I would like to give this a shot.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;b&gt;Spam 1 of 3 [Closed to Steph, Kon or Claire if shes still there.]&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;small&gt;[ He made his way quietly with two cups of the better coffee he could get his hands on. He figured, well more hoped Steph would be there by herself but if she wasn&apos;t he would totally go back and get something else for whoever may be with her. He had decided after a week of hiding off in his room, metaphorically licking his own wounds that he needed to touch base. He didn&apos;t want to use the network for that because then Steph might see he was hiding again. He was at least cleaned up today, blue shirt and black jeans, his hair brushed and he was clean shaven. He made it a point to try and look decent before dropping in on his warden.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;He was worried about her too, more then he could have said in the days before. He was tired of being selfish. It was time to see if she could use a hand. To repay some kindness.]&lt;/small&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;b&gt;Spam 2 of 3 [Semi-Closed to Jeryline (Or anyone who may be at the pool)]&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;small&gt;[ Once he made his way back from Steph&apos;s room he had sat and worked his way through part of another book before deciding he was still feeling too contained in his room. A week staring at his walls made him a bit stir-crazy. He waited about ten minutes before he pushed himself up with a strange idea in his mind but he decided to give it a whirl.  He made his way over to Jery&apos;s door leaving his own standing open and knocked. He hated the pool when lots of people were around but maybe it would be fun to get her and go splash around a bit. Take their minds off the mental trauma.]&lt;/small&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;b&gt;Spam 3 of 3 [OPEN]&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;small&gt;[  Doyle&apos;s hair was still wet from the pool earlier, sticking in haphazard spikes all of its own, he was at his normal night time spot for when he came up on deck. Leaned up against the railing with a cigarette between his lips watching the sky. He had the  &lt;a href=&quot;http://25.media.tumblr.com/4b6b7b27555e28cf03e4785ad01dc37e/tumblr_mhiaoaWtk11s4cx6ho1_400.jpg&quot;&gt;His blue button up&lt;/a&gt; on and only three fourths of the way buttoned up, unlike normal there was no shirt under it and he had on lose fitting black carpenter jeans since the swim trunks he had been wearing were on under them. He was mostly just drying on the deck while having a smoke and staring at the sky. Today was one of the better days he&apos;s had in ages.]&lt;/small&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=fuckingvisions&amp;ditemid=15332&quot; width=&quot;30&quot; height=&quot;12&quot; alt=&quot;comment count unavailable&quot; style=&quot;vertical-align: middle;&quot;/&gt; comments</description>
  <comments>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/15332.html</comments>
  <category>!lastvoyages</category>
  <category>hiding from bff dean</category>
  <category>other world slayer jeryline</category>
  <category>charles xavier is a good man</category>
  <category>steph is too good</category>
  <category>some parts are broken</category>
  <lj:music>Seether - Fine Again</lj:music>
  <lj:mood>apathetic</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>158</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/14923.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Thu, 30 May 2013 13:05:59 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Voice locked</title>
  <link>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/14923.html</link>
  <description>&lt;b&gt;[ Private to Jesse]&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Are you busy? I know shits been hard but I&apos;d like to take up that offer to talk&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;b&gt;[Private to Iris]&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Hey, tell me your ten favorite clasic earth songs love. I bneed something new to hear and next to Dean yo have the best taste..&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;small&gt;[ In all the messages his voice sounds a little hollow.]&lt;/small&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;s&gt;&lt;b&gt;[ Private to Dean]&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I lied. I&apos;m not okay.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;...That fucking place used Cordelia.&lt;/s&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;small&gt;[ Deleted before sent.]&lt;/small&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=fuckingvisions&amp;ditemid=14923&quot; width=&quot;30&quot; height=&quot;12&quot; alt=&quot;comment count unavailable&quot; style=&quot;vertical-align: middle;&quot;/&gt; comments</description>
  <comments>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/14923.html</comments>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>2</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/14706.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Wed, 29 May 2013 23:49:22 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Video+Spam</title>
  <link>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/14706.html</link>
  <description>&lt;b&gt;[ private to Kon ]&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I&apos;m sorry you had to see that, I know sometimes these things bother you. I want to apologize for any added trauma. That&apos;s all really.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;b&gt;[Public]&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;small&gt;[ Doyle was still wearing the blood soaked clothes he had had on when everyone got to get back on the barge hours ago. He looked rather bleak, almost like the lights been sucked out of his eyes.]&lt;/small&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I&apos;m still kickin&apos;, I&apos;ve heard a few knocks at the door and yeah I&apos;m here but I don&apos;t feel like company. I see a lot o&apos; you are doin&apos; body counts so my prayers go to those lost but I&apos;m not amongst the dead, neither are any o&apos; those I was with. And someone please look at Stephs arm, and talk to Kon. They need help.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;That bein&apos; said, please leave me alone. &lt;small&gt;[ He cut the feed off right there.]&lt;/small&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;b&gt;[SPAM]&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;small&gt;[ The sound crystal he had been given by Iris  was playing &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DrGuVa-4BVE&quot;&gt;Pink Floyd&apos;s Learning to Fly&lt;/a&gt; as loud as he could get the thing to go. He was laid on the floor in the blood soaked clothes, the picture frame holding the photo of those he cared the most about clutched against his chest, the picture of Cordelia and Angel that Harry had left behind.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;It was strange how he no longer felt guilty about Lucas&apos; death. Killing Cordelia had freed him of the guilt in a strange way but robbed him of something else. He felt empty inside, like pieces were missing, while other parts felt more calm. He wanted nothing more in that moment then to drink himself into oblivion but he had no liquor and he knew no one would supply him at the moment. So instead as he laid there listening to the song pumping from the crystal he was chain smoking, he would run out at this rate but at the moment he didn&apos;t care. It was something to busy his hands.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;...The door was unlocked, even if he said he wanted to be alone, he purposely left it unlocked.]&lt;/small&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=fuckingvisions&amp;ditemid=14706&quot; width=&quot;30&quot; height=&quot;12&quot; alt=&quot;comment count unavailable&quot; style=&quot;vertical-align: middle;&quot;/&gt; comments</description>
  <comments>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/14706.html</comments>
  <category>cordelia</category>
  <category>!lastvoyages</category>
  <category>silent hill is the devil</category>
  <category>some parts are broken</category>
  <category>wants help but wont ask</category>
  <lj:music>Pink Floyd - Learning to Fly.</lj:music>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>97</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/14342.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Thu, 23 May 2013 22:19:56 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Text private to Steph, Dean, Aya &amp; Jeryline.</title>
  <link>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/14342.html</link>
  <description>&lt;b&gt;Private to Steph&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;tt&gt;&lt;big&gt;Hey Princess, I need another favor. WHen you have a minute or so anyway.&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/tt&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;b&gt;Private to Dean&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;tt&gt;&lt;big&gt;Hey Jerk, just checking in to see how your holding up. Sorry I didn&apos;t show up to see you this time. I&apos;ve been kind of half dead between these training sessions the Batgirls got me going through. I hope your not pissed.&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/tt&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;b&gt;Private to Aya&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;tt&gt;&lt;big&gt;How are you doing, Aya? I&apos;ve been a bit worried about you.&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/tt&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;b&gt;Private to Jeryline&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;tt&gt;&lt;big&gt;If this place isn&apos;t as bad as all that, and it has any good dives. Would you like to do what we talked about?&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/tt&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=fuckingvisions&amp;ditemid=14342&quot; width=&quot;30&quot; height=&quot;12&quot; alt=&quot;comment count unavailable&quot; style=&quot;vertical-align: middle;&quot;/&gt; comments</description>
  <comments>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/14342.html</comments>
  <category>steph is too good</category>
  <category>deans my bff</category>
  <category>!lastvoyages</category>
  <category>text</category>
  <lj:music>Hugo - Old Tyme Religion</lj:music>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>44</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/14222.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Sun, 12 May 2013 01:15:36 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Filtered to the Wardens and Ben</title>
  <link>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/14222.html</link>
  <description>First and foremost I gotta apologize to Ben. All the times this has happened never before has is been so far off. Sure mistakes have been made with flashing pictures and everything that comes with the visions sometimes it&apos;s easy to mess it up. I never wanted Ben to be turned into a scapegoat, shit I was hoping this one could be stopped and nothin&apos; would come of it. So Ben if you wanna talk man, I&apos;ll be on the deck tonight around 9. We can talk alone and such. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;small&gt;[ It will be the first time he&apos;s left his room in almost five days.]&lt;/small&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;To those investigating what happened, I don&apos;t know if I can be any help outside o&apos; making things worse. But I worked for a psudo-detective back home and I&apos;d like to help clear the name of a friend I put in this situation. So anything I can do to help just let me know, yeah?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;b&gt;[ Filtered to Jesse ]&lt;/b&gt; &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I owe you an explanation. I offered to talk then skipped out. A few hours after we spoke last I fucked up. I&apos;m back to the start man. &lt;small&gt;[ It&apos;s one of those disappointing moments for him.]&lt;/small&gt; I should&apos;ve told you but I was ashamed o&apos; what I did.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=fuckingvisions&amp;ditemid=14222&quot; width=&quot;30&quot; height=&quot;12&quot; alt=&quot;comment count unavailable&quot; style=&quot;vertical-align: middle;&quot;/&gt; comments</description>
  <comments>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/14222.html</comments>
  <category>fucked it up</category>
  <category>visions haunt long after the fact</category>
  <category>vision fucked up</category>
  <category>ben isnt a bad guy</category>
  <category>oh god no</category>
  <lj:music>U2 - One</lj:music>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>17</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/13915.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Thu, 09 May 2013 00:53:21 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Voice, Doyle forgot to filter.</title>
  <link>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/13915.html</link>
  <description>Oh Jesus, it&apos;s a punishment. The fuckin&apos; powers are cruel!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;small&gt;[ He grumbles through the pain because the visions hadn&apos;t been there since he really quit drinking, two days after his relapse. Mind crushing vision. He had it on voice because he doesn&apos;t want anyone to see him in the state he&apos;s in.]&lt;/small&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Dean, Steph it&apos;s happened again. Another vision just hit. So quick run down since I know you and you want details. What I saw was clearly Ben. He had blood on his hands and, no I don&apos;t know when it&apos;s happenin&apos; but I have a feelin&apos; it wasn&apos;t good. There&apos;s a fellow on the floor, pretty sure he was a stiff but he was too blurry to make out. There wasn&apos;t more then that.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Good luck, let me know what happens, yeah? Ben&apos;s a friend and I don&apos;t wanna see him hurt.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=fuckingvisions&amp;ditemid=13915&quot; width=&quot;30&quot; height=&quot;12&quot; alt=&quot;comment count unavailable&quot; style=&quot;vertical-align: middle;&quot;/&gt; comments</description>
  <comments>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/13915.html</comments>
  <category>cosmic telephone</category>
  <category>visions haunt long after the fact</category>
  <category>save the girl stop the baddie</category>
  <category>go go power rangers</category>
  <lj:mood>numb</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>191</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/13712.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Wed, 01 May 2013 18:42:48 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Videos and Spam</title>
  <link>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/13712.html</link>
  <description>&lt;b&gt;[ Public Video ]&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;small&gt;[ Look &lt;a href=&quot;http://25.media.tumblr.com/0ddee7e2b5f22506add4c01b70f2d034/tumblr_mje3qk6qH11s3cvs0o1_r1_400.jpg&quot;&gt;Doyle&apos;s found a lovely purple patterned shirt.&lt;/a&gt; He doesn&apos;t look exhusted for once, in fact he looks chipper and not in that drunk way. The longer he was going the easier it was getting. The craving was still there but he was getting better.]&lt;/small&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Hey does anyone have The Doors Greatest hit&apos;s? One of me dearest friends has never heard o&apos; them and I need to fix this. I&apos;m willin&apos; to barter this, I got Metallica&apos;s S and M that live double album where they played with the orchestra. And both of the U2 greatest hits. Sadly thats all I got music wise but I also got plenty o&apos; books I could trade for this. I need it today if anyone has it. Thanks in advance.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;b&gt;[ Private to Cassandra Cain (an hour or so later)]&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Hey darlin&apos; forget the books today, can you meet me at Barbara&apos;s room? I got somethin&apos; real special for you today. That is if your not busy.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;b&gt;[ Open Spam; Nighttime on deck.]&lt;/b&gt; &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;small&gt;[ Doyle&apos;s leaning up against the railing with a cigarette against his lips, enjoying the feel of the smoke going through his lungs. He liked to come up here at night and watch the stars pass while he smoke before he would head down and try to read or sleep depending on what the night brings.  He was sure he could go bug Dean or something but tonight seemed like a good night to just lean and watch the stars.]&lt;/small&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=fuckingvisions&amp;ditemid=13712&quot; width=&quot;30&quot; height=&quot;12&quot; alt=&quot;comment count unavailable&quot; style=&quot;vertical-align: middle;&quot;/&gt; comments</description>
  <comments>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/13712.html</comments>
  <category>the doors and u2 are bands child</category>
  <category>!lastvoyages</category>
  <category>cassandra cain</category>
  <category>i will learn you yet</category>
  <lj:music>The Doors - Love Street</lj:music>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>68</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/13468.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Tue, 02 Apr 2013 15:48:43 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>[Video]</title>
  <link>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/13468.html</link>
  <description>&lt;small&gt;[ The video opens to a amused looking Doyle. He&apos;s not glaring or looking half asleep for the first time in weeks. He&apos;s starting to feel more like himself and not feeling drained all the time.]&lt;/small&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;There was this one time back in LA that me, Angel and Cordelia were on a case. These bodies kept showing up with everything sucked out&apos;a them. Like they were just skin and bones literally, all Detective Lockley could find to connect them was internet chat rooms. Nothing else seemed to connect the victims, it was Cordelia joking that made us realize it was zodiac based. &lt;small&gt;[ He lifts a cigarette into focus taking a drag before going on.]&lt;/small&gt; So 11 bodies and most rituals take 12 to have all the signs covered. It was the work of a real nasty demon killin&apos; people he figured wouldn&apos;t be missed.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Well we figured up a good plan. Got the list o&apos; chat rooms that the victims had been using and only two were in common one the LAPD was following now, the other we put Cordelia in to play bait with the promise of a new pair of shoes and the promise we wouldn&apos;t let her get hurt. And you best believe if something had tried to kill her it would have died first. So long story short the demon can make itself look like whatever people WANT to see, you see that&apos;s why every witness statement was different. The demon worked people&apos;s minds.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;We were at a bar when the take down was to happen. Delia lookin&apos; like a million bucks at the bar, Angel minglin&apos; in the crowds and me by the back door to make sure if he tried to bolt he wouldn&apos;t get out. I got myself distracted a moment and when I looked back to the bar what would you know but two of her were standin&apos; there in the same dazzling dress only one was following snappin&apos; at the other, by the time I got outside to figure out what was going on and got out to them, the aggressive one had changed into the guy she was suppose to meet. I tried to take him down myself and well... ever seen old wrestlin&apos; where the little guy gets cloths line dropped? Yeah not pretty, not one of me proudest moments either. But that&apos;s what Angel&apos;s for.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Anyway, so the whole point of this demon dirt devilin&apos; people&apos;s insides was he was tryin&apos; to make himself a new body to escape the cult that worshiped him. Granted we killed him. He&apos;s dead and wont be hurtin&apos; no one else anymore. Now why have I said all of this and given you a glimpse into me fucked up life in LA? Easy enough. Evil wears many masks, and the lines not always gray. Good bad and neutral, it&apos;s all due to whose side your on. &lt;small&gt;[ He moved to ash the cigarette and pulled it back to his lips to take another drag before speaking again.]&lt;/small&gt; Take anyone who calls them self a hero. They&apos;ve likely killed someone before in the line of duty or otherwise, now that person they killed by most society&apos;s view is evil. Take into account what if that guy out hero just killed had a wife and kids who didn&apos;t know Daddy was an axe murderer? They&apos;d hate the hero and think he&apos;s evil no matter what you tell them.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So, is vengeance for the greater good better? Not always. Is it a good thing, yes. I think myself you need to take out those that prey on innocence. That in mind. I hope the wardens take care o&apos; that girl that caused everyone so much pain. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Didn&apos;t see that comin&apos; did you?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;small&gt;[ooc; my characters views, are not necessarily my views. And Doyle&apos;s story is from the Angel Novel Avatar if anyones interested in it.]&lt;/small&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=fuckingvisions&amp;ditemid=13468&quot; width=&quot;30&quot; height=&quot;12&quot; alt=&quot;comment count unavailable&quot; style=&quot;vertical-align: middle;&quot;/&gt; comments</description>
  <comments>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/13468.html</comments>
  <category>steph is too good</category>
  <category>other world slayer jeryline</category>
  <category>angel was good people</category>
  <category>deans my bff</category>
  <category>storytime with doyle</category>
  <category>cordelia</category>
  <lj:music>The Bravery - Fearless</lj:music>
  <lj:mood>contemplative</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>63</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/13060.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Tue, 26 Mar 2013 02:08:52 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Private to Admiral</title>
  <link>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/13060.html</link>
  <description>Look I don&apos;t know if you will even see this, or even if you care. I ain&apos;t asked much of you and I try to play your game to the best of my ablity without makin&apos; too much of a splash so even as an inmate I have a favor to ask.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I need a copy of Green Lantern the Animated Series. I don&apos;t give a shit about the DVD player but I&apos;d really like it if you could give the disk back to Aya. I&apos;m willin&apos; to do a favor or whatever is needed to get this done. The lass is important to me and I cant stand to see her in pain.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So, please man. Can you do this one favor for me?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=fuckingvisions&amp;ditemid=13060&quot; width=&quot;30&quot; height=&quot;12&quot; alt=&quot;comment count unavailable&quot; style=&quot;vertical-align: middle;&quot;/&gt; comments</description>
  <comments>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/13060.html</comments>
  <category>request to admiral</category>
  <category>aya can stay my sister</category>
  <category>baby sister needs her movie</category>
  <category>i&apos;ll be shady to make her smile</category>
  <category>!lastvoyages</category>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>2</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/12999.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Fri, 22 Mar 2013 04:40:41 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>[Video]</title>
  <link>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/12999.html</link>
  <description>&lt;small&gt;[ So it&apos;s a little late at night, when a realization hit him and he couldn&apos;t shake it. Doyle knew it was time to do something he didn&apos;t want to do. The feed showed him sitting up in bed, he was wearing a undershit, he couldn&apos;t be seen from the waist down so it didn&apos;t matter.]&lt;/small&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I have a problem. &lt;small&gt;[ His voice was a little shaky. Like he was trying to be quite]&lt;/small&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I watched someone I consider a friend here fall apart and I&apos;ve just realized I&apos;m starting down that path of self destruction again. I was mostly better and now I&apos;m making it worse. The longer I go without my fix, the more I find myself wanting to cut off from everyone else.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;However a brilliant damsel&apos;s and a thick headed fellow I owe a lot too have both told me that cuttin&apos; meself off isn&apos;t going to help. I have a good man tryin&apos; to help me fix this problem too and all I&apos;ve done is treat him like an idiot. For that I&apos;m sorry Jesse.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I don&apos;t want to fail this and fail my Princess all the same because I cant face up to things. I need a few things, Bruce and Cass. You guys still willing to teach me to fight proper? I need something to fill my time. I&apos;d really rather not take the other option of working in the kitchen. Really I don&apos;t want too. Magic lesions, fighting lesions. Shit anything to fill the time and help me become more then I am. This is an open request too. Anyone can answer.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Kon, Steph and Jesse. I&apos;m sorry for bein&apos; such a bastard. I&apos;ll try to make it up to you when I feel more up too it. For now I have to finish this, the way that lost friend wouldn.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;My name&apos;s Allen Francis Doyle, and I&apos;m an alcoholic. I&apos;ve lied, cheated and stole from friends and those that trusted me from day one to keep my problem fueled. I played the system and made everyone including myself think I was getting better. I wasn&apos;t. I was getting worse, the first time I stole a bottle of whiskey out of the pub, I knew. I didn&apos;t want to say anything, I didn&apos;t mind my problem. Thing is, I think its half of why I&apos;m here. I drink and I have a lot of emotional issues I don&apos;t normally care about but Steph thinks I need therapy so maybe I do.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Anyway, that&apos;s all. You can all go back to bed now. I know I am.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=fuckingvisions&amp;ditemid=12999&quot; width=&quot;30&quot; height=&quot;12&quot; alt=&quot;comment count unavailable&quot; style=&quot;vertical-align: middle;&quot;/&gt; comments</description>
  <comments>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/12999.html</comments>
  <category>steph is too good</category>
  <category>i need help</category>
  <category>kon&apos;s a good kid</category>
  <category>alcoholic no longer working in a bar</category>
  <category>deans my bff</category>
  <category>seth&apos;s gone</category>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>51</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/12750.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Wed, 13 Mar 2013 16:53:09 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Private to Steph</title>
  <link>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/12750.html</link>
  <description>Hey love, when you get a second can you swing by, I need to ask something of you.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=fuckingvisions&amp;ditemid=12750&quot; width=&quot;30&quot; height=&quot;12&quot; alt=&quot;comment count unavailable&quot; style=&quot;vertical-align: middle;&quot;/&gt; comments</description>
  <comments>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/12750.html</comments>
  <category>need more room plz</category>
  <category>steph is too good</category>
  <category>!lastvoyages</category>
  <category>doyle has the best warden</category>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>13</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/12390.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Fri, 08 Mar 2013 22:38:52 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Video</title>
  <link>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/12390.html</link>
  <description>So I got a few things I wanna say here, and I know a bunch o&apos; you already know what I&apos;m gonna say but I&apos;m gonna say it anyway. &lt;small&gt;[ He looked at the camera  he looked tired but not as annoyed as he had been the days before.]&lt;/small&gt; When I asked a question it didn&apos;t mean I&apos;d hit a bender, I do confess I was not sober but looking back at what we all talked about. I don&apos;t regret hearing anyone&apos;s views only the aftermath, and the rumor mill I know to be following.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;small&gt;[ He looked a bit confused off to both sides as &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLJf9qJHR3E&quot;&gt;music started.&lt;/a&gt; Oh god what was going on this time, before he could even formulate an idea of what was happening he started to sing from where he was standing in the middle of his room.]&lt;/small&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;center&gt;Weep for yourself, my man,&lt;br /&gt;You&apos;ll never be what is in your heart&lt;br /&gt;Weep, little lion man,&lt;br /&gt;You&apos;re not as brave as you were at the start&lt;br /&gt;Rate yourself and rake yourself&lt;br /&gt;Take all the courage you have left&lt;br /&gt;Wasted on fixing all the problems that you made in your own head.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;But it was not your fault but mine&lt;br /&gt;And it was your heart on the line&lt;br /&gt;I really fucked it up this time&lt;br /&gt;Didn&apos;t I, my dear?&lt;br /&gt;Didn&apos;t I, my dear?&lt;/center&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;small&gt;[ He moved around chair to sit and prop his feet up on the coffee table as the music still played from no where. He moved one of his hands about in time with the music. Despite all he didn&apos;t sound too terrible singing it. The thoughts on his mind combining with everything else had chosen the song for him, he didn&apos;t know the tune.]&lt;/small&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;center&gt;Tremble for yourself, my man,&lt;br /&gt;You know that you have seen this all before&lt;br /&gt;Tremble, little lion man,&lt;br /&gt;You&apos;ll never settle any of your scores&lt;br /&gt;Your grace is wasted in your face,&lt;br /&gt;Your boldness stands alone among the wreck&lt;br /&gt;Now learn from your mother or else spend your days biting your own neck&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;But it was not your fault but mine&lt;br /&gt;And it was your heart on the line&lt;br /&gt;I really fucked it up this time&lt;br /&gt;Didn&apos;t I, my dear?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;But it was not your fault but mine&lt;br /&gt;And it was your heart on the line&lt;br /&gt;I really fucked it up this time&lt;br /&gt;Didn&apos;t I, my dear?&lt;br /&gt;Didn&apos;t I, my dear?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;But it was not your fault but mine&lt;br /&gt;And it was your heart on the line&lt;br /&gt;I really fucked it up this time&lt;br /&gt;Didn&apos;t I, my dear?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;But it was not your fault but mine&lt;br /&gt;And it was your heart on the line&lt;br /&gt;I really fucked it up this time&lt;br /&gt;Didn&apos;t I, my dear?&lt;br /&gt;Didn&apos;t I, my dear?&lt;/center&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;small&gt;[ When the music and his singing died down, he looked really confused around him.]&lt;/small&gt; &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Fuck this, I&apos;ll have barge time confessional another day.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=fuckingvisions&amp;ditemid=12390&quot; width=&quot;30&quot; height=&quot;12&quot; alt=&quot;comment count unavailable&quot; style=&quot;vertical-align: middle;&quot;/&gt; comments</description>
  <comments>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/12390.html</comments>
  <category>nevermind</category>
  <category>!event - showstopper</category>
  <category>fucked it up</category>
  <category>time to confess</category>
  <category>alcoholic no longer working in a bar</category>
  <category>rumor mill</category>
  <lj:music>Mumford and Sons - Little Lion Man</lj:music>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>11</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/12173.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Sun, 03 Mar 2013 04:29:03 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Text</title>
  <link>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/12173.html</link>
  <description>&lt;tt&gt;&lt;big&gt;What is the difference between living and existing?&lt;/big&gt;&lt;/tt&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;small&gt;[ Someone&apos;s been drinking again.]&lt;/small&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=fuckingvisions&amp;ditemid=12173&quot; width=&quot;30&quot; height=&quot;12&quot; alt=&quot;comment count unavailable&quot; style=&quot;vertical-align: middle;&quot;/&gt; comments</description>
  <comments>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/12173.html</comments>
  <category>thoughts anyone?</category>
  <category>questions</category>
  <category>!lastvoyages</category>
  <category>debate me while i&apos;m smashed</category>
  <category>thinking too much</category>
  <lj:mood>blah</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>199</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/11892.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Sun, 17 Feb 2013 04:40:58 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>[Video]</title>
  <link>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/11892.html</link>
  <description>Ello ladies and gents, I&apos;m sure I need no introduction here. I&apos;m broadcastin&apos; live from the pub where I got quite a show for you ladies tonight.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;small&gt;[ He spun the camera around so that the view could see Mr. Dean Winchester, his back to the camera while standing on the bar, and possibly a really lame song playing in the background. &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCChxBSRo1Y&quot;&gt;Talk Dirty to Me by Poison.&lt;/a&gt; Doyle turned the camera back towards him with a large pleased grin across his face.]&lt;/small&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Maybe some o&apos; you didn&apos;t have the best valentine&apos;s day and we got the cure for that. Come enjoy some eye candy. &lt;small&gt;[ He&apos;s trying so hard not to laugh while saying it. Saluting the camera the grin flashes again.]&lt;/small&gt; So come on down and have a gander at the boy on the bar. DOn&apos;t wanna be missin&apos; out on this bit o&apos; fun now do you?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;small&gt;[ And then Dean has turned and spotted the camera, though all he can do from where he is amounts to shouting petulantly for Doyle to turn the damn thing off.]&lt;/small&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Come on and hurry on up before all the fun stops!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=fuckingvisions&amp;ditemid=11892&quot; width=&quot;30&quot; height=&quot;12&quot; alt=&quot;comment count unavailable&quot; style=&quot;vertical-align: middle;&quot;/&gt; comments</description>
  <comments>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/11892.html</comments>
  <category>with friends like doyle</category>
  <category>!lastvoyages</category>
  <category>doyle&apos;s a dick</category>
  <category>deans my bff</category>
  <category>boys and booze</category>
  <lj:music>Talk Dirty to Me - Poison</lj:music>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>56</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/11649.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Wed, 13 Feb 2013 14:41:34 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>[ Video ]</title>
  <link>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/11649.html</link>
  <description>&lt;small&gt;[ The video opens to a &lt;a href=&quot;http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lkrdkyzBtb1qj5jnao1_500.png&quot;&gt;very beautiful&lt;/a&gt; blond woman looking into the camera. She pushes her hair back and smiles.]&lt;/small&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Hey, good morning everyone. &lt;small&gt;[ She sounds cheerful, and she is. A whole new world of possibilities is opened to her if only for a few days and she was sure she would make good use of it all.]&lt;/small&gt; First, I&apos;d like to say how flattered I am to be able to see a place which grants redemption. Even if I am not exactly sure what my ex-husband has done to land himself here. I don&apos;t mind helping at all. If any of you need someone to talk to or anything like that I&apos;m here in cabin six of room six it would seems. I wouldn&apos;t mind hearing a bit more about what this place does and what I can do to help out.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;small&gt;[ She stops and looks around the messy room of Doyle&apos;s and god was it trashed.]&lt;/small&gt; My name&apos;s Harry and as I mentioned I am here on behalf of my ex-husband Francis. &lt;small&gt;[ Another small pause, then she remembered he does&apos;t use his name anymore. He&apos;d told her as much when she took him the divorce papers.]&lt;/small&gt; Most of you likely know him as Doyle, He&apos;s a good man, he has a good heart despite how he acts.  I just need to know what I can do to help and I will be there to do so.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So, I suppose I start by sharing that I am an Ethnodemonologist. Big word I know but it just mean&apos;s that I study the cultures and habits of demons. I am very well versed on the supernatural. Anyone who needs someone to talk too about these kind of things I don&apos;t mind lending an ear. Honestly I&apos;d love to speak to anyone.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;small&gt;[ The smile drops a bit.]&lt;/small&gt; I knew Francis let himself go but this is just bad. Does it always have a slight smell in here? He used to be stickler about messes. &lt;small&gt;[ She looked back at the mess before at something off screen, her face suddenly looking horrified.]&lt;/small&gt; Oh my god! What is that!?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=fuckingvisions&amp;ditemid=11649&quot; width=&quot;30&quot; height=&quot;12&quot; alt=&quot;comment count unavailable&quot; style=&quot;vertical-align: middle;&quot;/&gt; comments</description>
  <comments>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/11649.html</comments>
  <category>event- loved and lost</category>
  <category>!lastvoyages</category>
  <category>meet the ex-wife</category>
  <lj:mood>amused</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>60</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/11493.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Fri, 08 Feb 2013 00:27:06 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>[Video]</title>
  <link>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/11493.html</link>
  <description>I was all prepared to get on here and spill a big apology for the shit I said last week, namely some o&apos; the more scarrin&apos; stuff. THose of you that heard it know what it was. However a very wise man by the name o&apos; Kon has more then once reminded me how lying isn&apos;t really a good thing so this time I wont apologize. It was all true and I&apos;m not happy it was said but I wont take it back.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;You guys want to talk to me you should know where I am.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Dean, pick something for us to do. When I finish this book I&apos;m gonna finish your way, no more then an hour left in it either.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=fuckingvisions&amp;ditemid=11493&quot; width=&quot;30&quot; height=&quot;12&quot; alt=&quot;comment count unavailable&quot; style=&quot;vertical-align: middle;&quot;/&gt; comments</description>
  <comments>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/11493.html</comments>
  <category>!lastvoyages</category>
  <category>kon&apos;s a good kid</category>
  <category>not sorry</category>
  <lj:music>My Hero - Foo Fighters</lj:music>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>20</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/11024.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Thu, 31 Jan 2013 23:57:45 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>[VIDEO] [THIS ENTRY VANISHED ON FEBUARY 7TH. LOCKED PRIVATE.]</title>
  <link>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/11024.html</link>
  <description>&lt;span class=&quot;cut-wrapper&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;display: none;&quot; id=&quot;span-cuttag___1&quot; class=&quot;cuttag&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;b class=&quot;cut-open&quot;&gt;(&amp;nbsp;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;b class=&quot;cut-text&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/11024.html#cutid1&quot;&gt;Cut for strong sexual talk, language and talks of domestic abuse.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;b class=&quot;cut-close&quot;&gt;&amp;nbsp;)&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;display: none;&quot; id=&quot;div-cuttag___1&quot; aria-live=&quot;assertive&quot;&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=fuckingvisions&amp;ditemid=11024&quot; width=&quot;30&quot; height=&quot;12&quot; alt=&quot;comment count unavailable&quot; style=&quot;vertical-align: middle;&quot;/&gt; comments</description>
  <comments>https://fuckingvisions.dreamwidth.org/11024.html</comments>
  <category>sex on his mind</category>
  <category>sometimes you gotta cry</category>
  <category>seth&apos;s gone</category>
  <category>fuck this week</category>
  <category>fuck this month</category>
  <category>months long dry spell</category>
  <category>battle of the sexes</category>
  <lj:music>Local H - Bound For The Floor</lj:music>
  <lj:mood>disappointed</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>229</lj:reply-count>
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